I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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