I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
