in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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