Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
