O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
