Kareoke will never be a sober sport
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
