I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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