I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
