And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
