You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
where am i from again
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
