last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My life is pants optional.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
