I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I cannot find my penis.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
