i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
