If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
