im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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