I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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