five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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