it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
