And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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