If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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