The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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