happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
