Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
