We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
