His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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