I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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