You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
