I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
