my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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