my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize