On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
