My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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