he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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