I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
