Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
