i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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