If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
