just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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