He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
