please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
