Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
