What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
