Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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