I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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