I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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