Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
