Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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