Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
