I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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