Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dear god my vagina.
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