There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
