I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize