she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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