just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
