I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
