Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
