They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
