Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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