if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
