is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
