Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
