all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
