We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
barbara walters just said penis...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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