so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
