I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm gonna fight the coyote
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
