you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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