We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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